Bill Gainer


Got an old woman
says she love me.
Got the place
it’s mostly ours
try to mind
my own business
it never works.

There’s always somebody
wanting to know something.
I generally tell them
the wrong thing
even if it’s right.

People should have signs
on strings
hanging around their necks
this is what I want to hear.

Make it easy on an old man.
I don’t want to fight
no more.
Not at my age.
But I still carry a knife
there’s a ball-peen hammer
in the car
and a revolver
under the seat.
Just in case.

The other option
is to just leave it alone.
The knuckles ache
back too.


It takes a bit
to get out of the chair.

I’m worn out
even the heart hurts.
Too much stuff.
Seems I’m just
hanging around
waiting for the good. 
I get up in the morning
and it’s scrambled eggs
and peppers
tomato juice, Tabasco
and salt.
Sometimes, if I sleep in
it’s soup.

I’ll ask her
what you doing today –
She’ll pour the coffee
tell me
every time
like it’s the first time:

Loving you
and that heart-worn
old soul
that keeps you
hanging around

Bill Gainer is a storyteller, a humorist and an award winning poet. His BA is from St. Mary’s College and his MPA from USF. He is the publisher of the PEN Award winning R. L. Crow Publications. Gainer is internationally published and known across the country for giving legendary fun filled performances. Visit him at: