I wanted this day to be holy-
the sky untroubled by clouds, the sun restrained
in spite of its heat. Only this morning, three days
with a head cold, I breathed
the sweet stink of diesel
on the street ending at this beach, a drink in one hand,
a book of poems in the other, and yea, I thought to
myself,
life is good, and I felt clean
as only a woman alone
and unknown can be. Then dark birds lifted
out of the palms like words going back on themselves,
and I knew I was caught again
between two skies, the halves of me
clashing like jealous lovers. Now this stranger says
I remind him of a woman in his past, and I can't be
sure
I haven't been that woman.
Oh world, I stand before you,
toes knuckling this white sand where the bathers tan
and children build their dream homes-
let the weight of my remorse
set the ocean's eye to overflowing,
or at least permit me this brief amnesia where
my mind rides out like an empty net on a tug of waves
and returns the way it left, just as empty. |