Paddy Noble

They say there’s madness afoot in Winter
as if by barring the door to cold we lock out love

The birds are sleeping in today
all is snow covered, bleak as failed expectation
I huddle in my covers like the doves on the back stoop
I will not ski today
I am beyond Gulliver
pinned down by an army of a thousand thoughts
Lilliputians gone mad in a mind that seeks peace
but will not allow the change

I do not accept your kindnesses
I turn instead to my problems
feed them with doubt and fear
until they grow into the suffering I make
the way my mother made pudding
I am nurturing some pain planted long ago
in the soil of my delusion, in the fertile humus
of my desire to own then run from, to retaliate

I offer irate responses (in words I would take back)
to a frown I translate as disgust
and watch this anger grow on the time I give it
watch it expan d, feed and flower till I perceive it
as a gorgeous thing and must pass it on
Stuck in the cycle of return, of reruns and rehashing
I miss all of the moments where beauty pours out at my feet
yet you come again

And all it takes is a single drop of mercy
to rain down on me
change everything to ahhhh
snow is no longer cold, birds awaken
the beauty you are is a deluge
Mind stilled, my heart is opened
to a glance, a word, curve of your shoulder
hand lifted in welcome

I finally see that I am gifted everyday
with life, breath and the nearness of you.

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